Executive Brief
Welcome to the consolidated interface of THE DANISH COMPUTING CORPORATION. All keystrokes may be monitored “for quality assurance.”
Directive: Maintain productivity. Maintain discretion. Maintain the illusion of choice.
Department Allocation
| Division | Purpose | Contact |
|---|---|---|
| Infrastructure | Ensures the lights stay on. Occasionally decides who deserves them. | ext. 2201 |
| Security | Prevents incidents. Records the rest. Smiles politely. | ext. 0007 |
| Human Resources | Optimizes morale. Minimizes variance. Schedules feelings quarterly. | ext. 0404 |
| R&D (Quiet Floor) | Innovates in silence. Produces value. Disposes of questions. | ext. 1312 |
Policies (Excerpt)
[POLICY] DCC-12.4 — “INFORMATION HYGIENE”
• Do not transmit proprietary thoughts across unsecured channels.
• Report dreams containing internal architecture diagrams.
• Smiling is permitted on Fridays between 15:00 and 15:07.
• If you see this message twice, you did not see it the first time.
[NOTE] Policy updates occur without notice.
Messages
From: Office of Alignment
Subject: Regarding your “personal website”
We applaud initiative. Please ensure your homepage accurately reflects corporate values: clarity, compliance, and quietly ominous typography.